the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
