She's JV to your varsity
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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