This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
