butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
