I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
