Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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