butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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