Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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