i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
