hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
