I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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