That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
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Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
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The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.