that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.