Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her

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(281): View more from Texas

After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.

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(713): View more from Texas

Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(517): View more from Michigan

Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

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(949): View more from California

Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.

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(210): View more from Texas

just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.

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(820): View more from

Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets

(816): View more from Missouri

Me and I got head

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