Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..

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  (440): you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents.. http://tfl.nu/shss
  Replies (17) Good night (475) Bad night (3799)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.

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  (412): Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet. http://tfl.nu/977n
  Replies (14) Good night (4051) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from England

  mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.

  (+44): View more from England

  "and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"

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  (+44): mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes. (+44): "and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'" http://tfl.nu/aeg7
  Replies (32) Good night (4295) Bad night (1288)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

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  (615): im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused. http://tfl.nu/4oz4
  Replies (9) Good night (5235) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  God, you're like boner-b-gone

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  (305): God, you're like boner-b-gone http://tfl.nu/0pn8
  Replies (10) Good night (1008) Bad night (5368) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.

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  (509): They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried. http://tfl.nu/h9l8
  Replies (17) Good night (1982) Bad night (4189) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.

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  (860): Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried. http://tfl.nu/p6ag
  Replies (13) Good night (2426) Bad night (4371) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.

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  (559):Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination. http://tfl.nu/eipz
  Replies (5) Good night (1606) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me

  (619): View more from California

  that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.

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  (858): this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me (619): that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box. http://tfl.nu/s7vm
  Replies (7) Good night (1534) Bad night (693)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.

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  (563): My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch. http://tfl.nu/5mz7
  Replies (16) Good night (932) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...

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  (843): he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house... http://tfl.nu/3q6f
  Replies (6) Good night (1842) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.

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  (316): He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over. http://tfl.nu/vzgx
  Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (1545) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?

  (516): View more from New York

  lol... you weighed it?

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  (631): Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night? (516): lol... you weighed it? http://tfl.nu/fdcm
  Replies (11) Good night (3820) Bad night (587)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...

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  (910): The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video... http://tfl.nu/iq5u
  Replies (5) Good night (2095) Bad night (390)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"

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  (+61): Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart" http://tfl.nu/icuk
  Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (247)

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