We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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