Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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