Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.

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(603): i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm. http://tfl.nu/ifvp

Replies (121) Good night (814) Bad night (4669)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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(865): Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/7i54

Replies (18) Good night (11254) Bad night (979)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

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(617): just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole http://tfl.nu/otvq

Replies (434) Good night (55975) Bad night (6766)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.

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(816): I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there? (1-816): Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/46j7

Replies (9) Good night (3262) Bad night (948)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence

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(307): there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence http://tfl.nu/drkc

Replies (1) Good night (987) Bad night (2000)
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(720): View more from Colorado

It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment

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(720): It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment http://tfl.nu/cuki

Replies (8) Good night (1670) Bad night (798)
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(904): View more from Florida

pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.

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(904): pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking. http://tfl.nu/eg7z

Replies (3) Good night (2179) Bad night (655)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.

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(910): Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now. http://tfl.nu/pjno

Replies (9) Good night (541) Bad night (2030)
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(619): View more from California

For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.

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(619): For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this. http://tfl.nu/nvhn

Replies (14) Good night (1890) Bad night (522)
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(248): View more from Michigan

He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.

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(248): He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it. http://tfl.nu/f1b3

Replies (2) Good night (1148) Bad night (638)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.

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(224): Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please. http://tfl.nu/hx0x

Replies (13) Good night (1334) Bad night (480)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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(203): Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish? http://tfl.nu/j5ph

Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (340)
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(408): View more from California

its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat

(1-408): View more from California

your picture is with misty too!!

(408): View more from California

I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE

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(408): its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat (1-408): your picture is with misty too!! (408): I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE http://tfl.nu/688p

Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (267)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!

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(720): Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA! http://tfl.nu/6cz6

Replies (8) Good night (1288) Bad night (259)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.

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(423): Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed. http://tfl.nu/j4hb

Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (400)

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