Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.

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  (732): used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick (732): i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore. http://tfl.nu/4czg
  Replies (59) Good night (700) Bad night (2346)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.

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  (601): Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away. http://tfl.nu/uxou
  Replies (60) Good night (3535) Bad night (684)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish life had little blips of pornography

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  (778): I wish life had little blips of pornography http://tfl.nu/kuwx
  Replies (27) Good night (4117) Bad night (1295)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?

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  (440): my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that? http://tfl.nu/nj0k
  Replies (31) Good night (5584) Bad night (548)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend

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  (716): Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend http://tfl.nu/uh4h
  Replies (16) Good night (1099) Bad night (3297)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times

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  (516): i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times http://tfl.nu/hu9z
  Replies (30) Good night (634) Bad night (3028)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween

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  (405): Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween http://tfl.nu/jypy
  Replies (20) Good night (1475) Bad night (3183)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...

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  (410): He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone... http://tfl.nu/g061
  Replies (15) Good night (1508) Bad night (5985)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight

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  (617): You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33. (1-617): you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight http://tfl.nu/rpjk
  Replies (5) Good night (2134) Bad night (519)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad

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  (406): Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad http://tfl.nu/ib2e
  Replies (8) Good night (1272) Bad night (645)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.

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  (914): He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him. http://tfl.nu/d8kc
  Replies (4) Good night (1657) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.

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  (724): body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe. http://tfl.nu/fyq3
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.

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  (205): I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again. http://tfl.nu/ogwa
  Replies (9) Good night (999) Bad night (507)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years

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  (857): Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years http://tfl.nu/6jcz
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision

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  (214): In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision http://tfl.nu/s7qw
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (204)

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