Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

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  (304): My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick http://tfl.nu/tgso
  Replies (27) Good night (3697) Bad night (610)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.

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  (402): I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed. http://tfl.nu/mbr1
  Replies (153) Good night (13121) Bad night (944)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."

  (716): View more from New York

  lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.

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  (267): Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious." (716): lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus. http://tfl.nu/bbah
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (1907)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?

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  (404): What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you? http://tfl.nu/4jb3
  Replies (22) Good night (9418) Bad night (6243)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?

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  (641): Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart? http://tfl.nu/xjrc
  Replies (23) Good night (3224) Bad night (1396)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.

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  (469): Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think. http://tfl.nu/hmzv
  Replies (12) Good night (920) Bad night (4230)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team

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  (978): i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team http://tfl.nu/fnfy
  Replies (24) Good night (1205) Bad night (4809)
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  (+43): View more from

  my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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  (+43): my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe http://tfl.nu/lh72
  Replies (16) Good night (7851) Bad night (811)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.

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  (979): We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it. http://tfl.nu/1cxu
  Replies (26) Good night (7547) Bad night (1216)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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  (203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek
  Replies (15) Good night (6193) Bad night (965)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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  (773): the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay... http://tfl.nu/071o
  Replies (6) Good night (2111) Bad night (859)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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  (609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m
  Replies (11) Good night (2051) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.

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  (912): I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations. http://tfl.nu/gyzy
  Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (314)
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  (530): View more from California

  I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.

  (1-530): View more from California

  It's like you're the voice of my soul.

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  (530): I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification. (1-530): It's like you're the voice of my soul. http://tfl.nu/xi0i
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Atleast he is letting you know he will be late

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  (775): He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with (1-775): Atleast he is letting you know he will be late http://tfl.nu/exkh
  Replies (3) Good night (379) Bad night (483)

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