yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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