question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize