like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
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A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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