Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
