I will die if light touches me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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