: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
