so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
