This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
