I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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