all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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