Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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