i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
