STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
