she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
