Umm I'm too high to move.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize