Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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