grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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