Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just want nice things and good sex
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
