Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize