new low.... made out with someone while peeing
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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