Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
