Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
