I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
