i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
