if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
