At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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