he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize