Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is Oprah even human
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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