Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
