remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
my liver is dry heaving
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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