Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
