Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
