i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
