Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
