So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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