Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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