I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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