elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
