I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
