she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
