Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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