if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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