and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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