I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i already hear my dad disowning me
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trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the raccoons are back...
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