my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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