my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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