She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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