I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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