I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
