it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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